How to Make Sex Last Longer

Two Parts:Before SexDuring Sex

Whether you regularly experience premature ejaculation, a common sexual problem for men, or simply want to find ways to make sex last longer, there are plenty of things you can do both during and before sex to prevent yourself from getting too excited too quickly. Read this article to learn how.

Part 1 of 2: Before Sex

1. 
   1
   Relax and be positive. Premature ejaculation is as much a physical issue as a mental one. Try not to create a self-fulfilling prophecy by labeling yourself as sexually incompetent in any way. Approaching sex with confidence, self respect, and a positive attitude rather than fear and self-doubt can make all the difference for both you and your partner.
2. 
   2
   "Practice" with yourself. Masturbation is perfectly healthy and natural, and doing it regularly can help you build up your stamina, prevent premature ejaculation,^[1] and even relieve stress and anxiety. Plus, the more time you spend with yourself, the more familiar you will become with your body so that you can more easily recognize when you get too excited. That way, during sex, you can know when to slow down or change positions before it's too late.
3. 
   3
   Find a regular sexual partner if possible. Men tend to get particularly worked up during their first time with a new woman, especially if this woman is somebody he has been lusting after for a long time. Realize that sometimes it really isn't you, but rather, how attracted to and excited you are about being in bed with her. And that's perfectly ok.
   • Being in a monogamous relationship is a great way to improve your performance in bed, and the more time you spend with one person, the more comfortable and confident you will feel during sex.
4. 
   4
   Wear a condom. Lots of men complain that condoms decrease pleasure and sensitivity during sex, but if you're trying to last longer in bed, that might be just what you need. And, of course, there's the added bonus of preventing against unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases.
5. 
   5
   Cut down on alcohol, tobacco, and other drugs. Using these substances in excess may interfere with your ability to control ejaculation.^[2]
6. 
   6
   Use a topical medication. Desensitizing sprays and creams have been used for years to help men last longer but the side effects of sensation loss and partner transference have prevented them from widespread use. There is a new class of topical sprays with absorption technology that enables a mild anesthetic to penetrate the outer layer of penile skin to the nerves below that control ejaculation, providing superior control and good sensation for the man and generally unnoticeable transfer to the woman. There are several products available in the U.S. at the moment.

Part 2 of 2: During Sex

1. 
   1
   Don't skip foreplay. Studies have shown that couples that indulge in foreplay report having sex for longer than those who don't.^[3] Instead of getting right down to business, take some time to cuddle, kiss, touch one another, and so on. The more time you spend on foreplay, the longer you'll be in bed together.
   • If you get too excited during foreplay, stop her from doing whatever she's doing and focus all of your attention on her instead.
2. 
   2
   Change positions often. This can shift your attention. Plus, exploring different sexual positions can make sex more exciting and ensure that both partners are satisfied.
   • Also, don't be afraid to stop having sex temporarily to focus on her.
3. 
   3
   Let her be in control. The person who is in control is usually the one experiencing most of the pleasure; letting her be in control can help decrease some of the sensitivity you feel.
4. 
   4
   Try to distract yourself. If you find yourself getting too excited during sex, try to distract yourself from how turned on you are by thinking about something completely unrelated to the situation, like work or school. Temporarily diverting your attention can help you relax and slow down.
   • Whatever you think of, make sure that it's something that doesn't turn you on sexually in any way.
5. 
   5
   Take slow, deep breaths. Many men find that breathing slowly and deeply during sex can help them last longer. This can be attributed to the fact that breathing helps us relax. Try to breathe deep into your belly. Feel it expanding as you inhale. It may also help to hold your breath for two or three seconds before exhaling, slowly. This holding can have a calming, centering effect.